A nation divided

Ooh, it’s all got a bit tetchy, hasn’t it?

brexit_arrows_16

There’s been a lot of politicking going on in Blighty of late, and not much of it has been pleasant.  The Brexit debate has been fascinating to watch, in a car-crash kind of way – thrilling if you’re in the Leave camp, exasperating if you’re in Remain.  Whatever happened last Friday half the nation was going to be downright bloody livid – that much was a certainty. A straight question like the one asked, with it’s completely binary nature, was guaranteed to aggravate.

But we’ve made our choice and now we have to see what happens.  We have – at time of writing – no certainty who will be PM, no certainty over will be leading the opposition, no sign of the Lib Dems anywhere, and no friends in Europe.  This will all change – I’m sure that those we leave behind in the EU will still like our money so there will be trade agreements…we still need stuff from the EU so we won’t be able to entrench ourselves too deeply…it’s just we may well have to unravel a bit of red tape first.  Ironically, more than there would have been if we’d stayed in the EU.

crystal_ballWhat will be interesting is how the country as a whole heals itself going forwards.  Pretty much half the people you meet disagreed with your view.  Half the people you meet are either responsible for the mess we’re heading towards, or caused the mess we’re running away from.  Half the people you meet will argue the toss with you over subjects they probably don’t know enough about, as do you.

However, you won’t find the Farm taking sides.  Those of us involved have – you’ll be surprised to hear – strong views on the subject, but we’re keeping those views very much away from business.  And we’re not all on the same side either – both sides getting votes from us as individuals.

borisOne thing is certain though – the bookies favourite for PM, BoJo,  has been set on fire by us at the Farm.  It was less than two years ago that he paid us a visit and, upon picking a chocolate habanero, was met with very little dissuasion when he asked if he should take a bite.  I was very impressed that he didn’t do a swear or two.

By the way, don’t take our willingness to accommodate the tousle-haired ex-Mayor of London as any hint of our political stripe – we’re an evil bunch of sods and will willingly watch anyone suffer at the hands of many, many Scovilles.

 

There are many more of these vitally important questions that should go to nation for an urgent decision.  For example:

  • cats or dogs?
  • over or under the roll?
  • Eastenders or Coronation Street?
  • Batman or Superman?
  • chips or rice?

Maybe we should announce a referendum every time there a knotty decision to be made.  This could be a bit time-consuming I’ll grant you, but think of the fun Jeremy Vine and his shonky graphics could have with the dilemma of iPhone vs. Android.

rcsaerialAway from hideous choices about the future of the country, it’s been a busy old time.  Over the last few weeks I’ve been at the Royal Bath & West Show, the Royal Cornwall Show, and the Royal Three Counties Show.  All big beasts of events, all busy at times and asleep at others, and interestingly – despite being agricultural shows – they have their own flavours.  The Bath & West is all Subarus, ferris wheels and hot tubs, a retail experience rather than a livestock show.  The Cornwall Show is still very countrified – lots of animals on display,  wall-to-wall showjumping competitions and pure frontier gibberish.  The Three Counties appeared to be a drinking contest, judging by the large number of slightly intoxicated customers I roasted with God Slayer late each day.  And although I didn’t attend this year (because it clashed with the Cornwall Show) the South of England Show is very much all tweed, all the time…with an occasional pig.

But they’re all entertaining in their own way; long days trading, an exercise in logistics to get set up and broken down without wanting to kill fellow traders who’ve just parked in your spot, and a source of the P-Plan Diet – all pork, all the time.  Bacon butty for breakfast.  Pork pie for lunch.  Sausages for dinner.  I don’t know how vegetarians survive at these shows, I really don’t.

World domination is still very much on the agenda, one capsaicin-fuelled step at a time.  We have heard people say, on more than one occasion recently – ‘you get everywhere, don’t you?’.  Well, not everywhere – Stoke Poges eludes us – but there aren’t many corners of the UK that evade our presence.  And if they do, and you want to see us there, just find us an event as we’ll hop in the chillimobile and come along!

Right, after all that dealing with existential threats and stuff, I’m off to cry into my beer after our boys managed to lose to Bejam last night.  A lifetime of being a Swindon Town fan has pretty much inured me to disappointing football results, but that one was a doozy.  Time to become Welsh for a few days, I think.


(The correct answers to our thorny questions are, or course – cats, over the roll, switch the telly off and read a book, Batman, and half & half.  And android, I’m a geek, remember?)iistcoy

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